Me IQ

Well if you were in Australia last night and watching Channel 9 @ 7:30 pm you would know about this nationwide IQ test held live. Well I took the test n I came out with an IQ of 97. I was hopin for like 100, but oh well. At least I'm still in the average =)

Umm where's my archives?

What a week!!

Few things been happening this week that I think are of significance.

First off, last Saturday I think, I tried to transfer my domain name to another registrar because namezero.com costs too much when i can do it elsewhere cheaper. At the same time I was playing around with the nameservers of my domain name. Little did I know that doing that would also alter my email server, so I didn't get any emails for 2 days until I figured out what went wrong, and by that time my transfer was denied by verisign because I didn't respond to them in time. By that time I was freaking out that I might lose my domain name if I didn't transfer the domain, or have to pay namezero before my plus service expired. I mean if I did lose it, then no one could contact me at the emails they know me by and it would be annoying to tell everyone to reach me some place else. SO I tried again, and this time it's successful. Hopefully by this time next week I my domain name with be with a different registrar and I get to save some money =)

Next, I finally got Linux Red Hat 7.3, thanks to Om Yus. Didn't know if it got downloaded correctly coz the checksums were different, so I decided to try it on the old machine. Well, after a few hours and 2.5 gigs gone it finally installed, but boy it is slow as. Guess it wants to go in the new machine. Well, at least now I know the cds have no errors. Maybe play with this Linux some other time...

Last but not least, was my semester 3 results. To be truthful I wasn't sure of how many I had subjects I had passed. Actually I felt really went bad in 2 subjects and passed the other 2. Well, to my surprise, I checked my results on the net and passed Digital Systems, passed Interactive Website Development, and got blank for System Programming 1. I was what the heck??-Guess that means a fail. The results finally came in the mail, and another surprise I actually got a conceded pass by 1 mark. I was happy I didn't fail, but at the same time I felt bad that it was only 1 mark needed for me to get a pass in the subject. Oh well, I hope I don't have to do that one again, and anyway I can move onto the next subject, so it's all good...And to think I actually thought I had failed the subject even before taking the exam. Truly only God knows all. This means I should do my best at all times and hope for the best outcome. You never know what's going to happen =)

Yay I Won!

It's official now, I got 1st prize in the lucky door prize of the Computer Fair. Hope this means a ticket to Indo at the end of the year (if I don't spend it beforehand ;)

Will It Still Be Good?

I jsut had a thought about how quiet it would be like in kampung these days. Usually there would be my uncle who I go around with, then there's my cousion who place I'd sleep over at, and then an aunty who'd I'd share my inner thoughts with and another aunty who;d take me to their school. Now all those people have gone on with their lives, my uncle's gone to work in Jewellry, and my other relatives have gone onto further studies in another city. I guess it had to come one day, and then one day I'll have graduated and then they'd follow suit and soon enough we'd all be beginning families of our own. Such is life...

I hope though that I'll still get to see them, and we can still get together. I wonder what other things I can get up to when they are no longer around. Hmmmmmm..

I Just Had A Nice Dream

Michelle Branch came over and we had a little chat, then she asked if I wanted to go out and have a walk. Funny sort of dream but nice none the less. In another dream, I had to fight my way into the hole and then fight the enemy with a Steyr Aug. Now that I think was from too much CS...

Why Does It Have to Happen Now?

I'll be back

See How Fast Time Flies By??!!

Yea I just got news one of my school friends got maried at the tender age of 19. Very eager for a commitment me thinks. OH well, best of luck to Goff and his wife and family.

LMAO!!!

Hmm some funny stories here that I'd liek to remember courtesy of Maria. Thanks a lot!

[21:49] <+[over-LoaD]> my school is lame. one time me and selina got busted because
[21:50] <+[over-LoaD]> HAHAHAH because we were laughing in art class....
[21:52] <+[over-LoaD]> i mean. yesterday selina and this teacher was having a DEATH STARE contest.... the whole class was silent for 1 minute.. it was deadly... i thought it was funny. THEN. i laughed. and i got busted
<+[over-LoaD]> yeh.. teacher nya bego... sel was like: smiling at the teacher then the freakn teacher said " dont give me that puppy cute face, focus, ur in yr 12.,"
[21:54] <+[over-LoaD]> wait theres this other story... tj.. in yr 10
[21:54] <+[over-LoaD]> me and sel was sitting in computer class
[21:56] <+[over-LoaD]> me and sel was sitting in computer class and like.. the teacher was givin a lecture .... i did sumfin funny and selina tried to hold her laugh.. but like... she did a MAJOR FART.. it was sooo fukn noisy.... i crackeed up laughing and i sed"sel u farted u piece of shit" and shes like "did i?" and then we got busted for interupting the class.
[21:57] <+[over-LoaD]> HAHAHAH... funny
[21:57] <+[over-LoaD]> OMG... CAMP.. thats another story
[21:58] <+[over-LoaD]> yr 10 camp...
[21:58] <+[over-LoaD]> this chick catherine had the top bunk and shirley had the bottom bunk
[21:59] <+[over-LoaD]> then... for about 45 minutes catherine didnt stop farting... shirley stopped breathing beacuse she had breathed in too many"methane gas"
[21:59] <+[over-LoaD]> AHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAH she had to ger bloody mouth to mouth thingy... ahauiehUIAHEUIHAIEUHIUAHE..
[22:00] <+[over-LoaD]> we went to vision valley this yr
[22:00] <+[over-LoaD]> and like kanae had the top bed and i had the bottom.... she fell out.
[22:01] <+[over-LoaD]> HAUIEUIAHEUIHEA she fell out that skinny piece of crap
[22:01] <@[dA`iNdo`u`LuV`2`HatE]> she so innocent its STOOPID
[22:01] <+[over-LoaD]> she woke me up 5am in the morning..
[22:01] <+[over-LoaD]> she goes " maria... maria.. wake up..." and i go..."why? its freakn 5am " and she goes" i want to pick berries..."
[22:02] <+[over-LoaD]> and i go????? "wtf?????"
[22:04] <+[over-LoaD]> ok... i got this japanese and korean friends at school right
[22:04] <+[over-LoaD]> u met kanae. u havent met minji or jin san
[22:05] <+[over-LoaD]> anyway... in yr 11.. we use to ALWAYS go everywhere
[22:05] <+[over-LoaD]> yeh minji and jin san
[22:05] <+[over-LoaD]> anyway.. the 4 of us ok
[22:05] <+[over-LoaD]> one time. . .
[22:05] <+[over-LoaD]> we went to triple 8...
[22:05] <+[over-LoaD]> in the ct
[22:06] <+[over-LoaD]> and u know what she drank? midori and lemonade
[22:06] <+[over-LoaD]> and her face went red
[22:06] <+[over-LoaD]> and her body was wobbly
[22:06] <+[over-LoaD]> and she couldnt walk properly
[22:06] <+[over-LoaD]> and she hit her head on the traffic light pole. and she nearly fell....
[22:07] <+[over-LoaD]> i got this funny story about my coussin.... di plaza senayan u guys know that restaurant? inside sogo or metro
[22:08] <+[over-LoaD]> chatterbox or somethinf?
[22:08] <+[over-LoaD]> u know how the room is all glassy?
[22:08] <+[over-LoaD]> well i was on the fone outside
[22:10] <+[over-LoaD]> i was on the fone outside... and i called her... i go... "come here" and she was like "what what" then she RAN... bolted... and RAN INTO THE GLASs.. "BANG" everyone was silent.... then i could hear some lady go " PLAZA SENAYAN DI BOMB!!!!!!!"
[22:11] <+[over-LoaD]> i go to her: eh sakit ngga tuh pala? and she goes... hati gua sakit man... malu gila..
[22:11] <+[over-LoaD]> BECAUSE... when she realised that it was glas... she had to go back to her seat and sit down..... she had to walk in front of people
[22:12] <+[over-LoaD]> and u know.. the same coussin.. ahahah.... pas di singapore.. kepalanya ketindihan beton
[22:12] <+[over-LoaD]> pas lagi promosi coffe di singapore
[22:13] <+[over-LoaD]> she was promosiin coffe for my uncles shop.. u know "come in please try" and all that... then like ada pekerja apaan di singapore gitu..and he accidentally dropped the metal pole... and all she said was "aduh..." then she cried./.. "sakiiittttt"
[22:15] <+[over-LoaD]> u know from that glass incident in plaza senayan i ALWAYS tease her.... everytime i see her... we go to her "loe kalo balapan ke rumah kaca ama gus dur.. gus dur menang kali yah.. loe tabrakin dulu tuh kaca2 semuaa"
[22:20] <+[over-LoaD]> one time it was raining and pouring down
[22:21] <+[over-LoaD]> and in my school, if u want to sit in the classroom to eat u got to clean up
[22:21] <+[over-LoaD]> (this is yr 9 by the way)
[22:21] <+[over-LoaD]> anyway all of us was sitting in this one room
[22:21] <+[over-LoaD]> when suddenly this stupid freaky male teacher walked in
[22:22] <+[over-LoaD]> and he yelled at us "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? GET OUT OF HERE AND CLEAN ALL YOUR SHIT UP." well obviously he wasnt in a very good mood
[22:22] <+[over-LoaD]> suddenly... this girl (samantha) was wearing the SCREAM mask
[22:23] <+[over-LoaD]> she walked in tapped on his shoulder and said "WASSSSSSSUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP" and the teacher turned around and said " i wouldnt do that if i was u"
[22:23] <+[over-LoaD]> and until now... tuh guru masih dendem with the WASSSUP chick

It Was Good After All...

In what seemed like a day that was uneventful despite it being my birthday, I was pleasantly surprised when my family came home with a large pizza. Now this wasn’t something I had expected, and it was my birthday present from my family for us all to feast on. Now it might seem that pizza might not be a lot for some people to be a birthday present, but to me it means a lot. It means that my parents still remember my birthday, and having a whole pizza is a rare thing for our family to have and I haven’t had it in a while.

And I was glad they got home before I slept, I was about to go to sleep, because no one was home and I was getting worried about my family. I had thoughts of the worst, it freaked me out, but thank God they are home now. I now know how my parents feel whenever I never ring about going home late. Maybe that’s a pointer for future late nights.

Add to that I get an email from the girl that I made friends with while in Indonesia, the one whose picture I put right next to my monitor where I could always see her. I haven’t much explained why I am doing this, or who this person is, but soon enough I will reveal all. Might even help myself understand why I’m doing it. But yea, I am happy that she still remembers me and sent me that email, I thought she already forgot about me, I mean I nearly forgot it was her birthday a few days back (the 3rd to be exact, so I don’t forget again). Hope she had a nice birthday too!

You know, if I really wanted to, probably could have done something with friends for my birthday, but I just didn’t feel like it. But I also didn’t want to be left alone and have this day unacknowledged.

There’s only one thing that kinda bugged me. None of my uni friends said happy birthday to me in any shape or form. I don’t expect any of them to remember, but they are regular users of ICQ and it shows a balloon next to my name. Hey isn’t that a dead giveaway. It questions the very nature of my friendships at uni. Are they just purely to help each other in our studies, and not extend to actual friendships as in long time friends? I dunno, maybe two years isn’t enough to be familiar with each other yet. Only time will tell…

Apart from that thought, what I just said that happened to me tonight has made a nice end to what seemed to be a pretty boring day really…=)

Today Is The Day I Am One Year More...

For you out there that are in the know, nineteen years to this day I was pushed into this wonderful world.

Well yea some would expect to have a party or at least do something special because it only comes once a year. Hmmm...but I have nothing in mind, I've come to accept that nothing really does ever happen on such a day for me, nor any other member of the family, except my sister and brother. I guess I have out grown the whole thing, coz ever since the last few years nothing "big" has ever happened for it, nor I organised anything to happen.

It is a day to thank God that he has not taken my life yet, because I know there is more for me to accomplish, but I will never know when I will go, everything is in the hands of God. And I thank God for all that he has given to me and my family-Alhamdulliah.

Today is also another reminder that I am geting only older, and not younger, and more responsibilities and I am supposed to be more mature in the way I think and behave. But I think this process of maturity is slow for me, because I myself am trying to slow this process because I don't want to grow old , not this quickly. Some people can't wait til lthey get to age of 18-means freedom, can do anything they want, go anywhere. But when I was 18, I didn't use those privileges. In a way, not really looking forward to it, because at that age I was now considered an adult by the State and that meant I also lost some privileges, like being a child and paying stuff at a child rate. Well, since then I have kinda gotten used to the fact that I am becoming an adult and being treated that way.

Had thoughts about the future, where I'd be, and what I'd be doing, and who I would be with. And then comes the thought of leaving my parents and going on my own. It hasn't happened yet, but I know it won't be long before I have to contemplate that situation. I wouldn't know how to cope with that I think, because for my whole life so far, they have been there with me. Maybe I have been mothered too much, and need to get more tougher from now on.

And then there's the thought that always comes into my mind, tears me apart and then leaves only to return another day. The wanting of a companion, a significant other, a partner but more immediately the desire to become friends with a girl that I could share my feelings with, to go out with that person and do something. I dunno, is that called a girlfriend? But then I'd always thought a girlfriend as someone you really liked. Maybe for me I do want this person they call a girlfriend, but I'm not admitting it. Maybe I want it to start off as a friendship but hoping that it becomes more because I guess this friend that is a girl would be someone special to me, and that knows me and can comfort me. She wouldn't be just 'someone'. Or maybe she is someone that I would call a very close friend, like those two people that know who they are. They are able to comfort me when I need it, they can make things seem clearer for me, and I can tell them anything without fear. I think that sounds like a better description of the person that I would like to have in my life near to me at this point in time. Those two people that I say are my close friends, are indeed close to my heart, but they are physically the furthest away from me, so I can't really do anything with them, I can only see them whenever I can, whenever we are in reach of each other. Other than those two people, I have other friends I do stuff with regularly, close too, but I don't really say that much about my inner self because I am not that comfortable in releasing myself to those people. So, that is what I am looking for, a combination of both-someone I can hang out with that I can share my feelings with. Sounds simple, but to this day still haven't been able to find that person. Be patient and wait, that is all I can do I guess. But am I supposed to do soemething about it? Like I don't really make any effort to make any new friends, especially any girls. So I have this situation which I'd liek to rectify, but I'm not really looking for anyone that might be able to help. Ahhh right now I'm hoping I just happen to bump into someone that I just happen to be able to get along with. Seems unlikely, but it could happen. That is the uncertainty of life, that makes it so interesting (but at times can be a bit too much).

Thanks to Febi, for being the first one to remember how this day is significant for me, with that sms I got at midnight. Last year I remember it was Melissa who was the first to acknowledge my birthday, when she rang me at midnight. And I remember tha my family bought some Kentucy Fried Chicken for us to feast on. It's making me hungry thinking of it =) And then remembering, on that night I had a night out with the boys, went to Manly cruising around, and then the city, adn then realising that I had locked myself out of the house and had to sleep over my friend's place. And I also remembered that at that time I was thinking about this girl I had met on the Internet that I thought was very beautiful and someone that I would've liked to get to know and be with. (And then later find out that it was all a lie and that the person I thought was not really that person at all). And then I remember the year before that I was sad about the previous year when I had given this letter to a girl saying all these things that I didn't really know what they meant. I guess this year there is no incidents with any girl, so I guess that is a good thing (except for the fact that it makes me feel kinda lonely that I don't like anyone). It's funny though, even though there is no girl incident, I'm not really cheerful about it. Maybe it's because I'm not doing anything for my birthday or maybe because I didn't get anything. I guess there is still that wish that someone gave me something to me, a card at least, the child in me is stopping me from accepting the fact that people don't do that for me anymore.

For all those other people out there that have this day as their birthday "Happy Birthday". I think there are some famous people that have the same birthday as me. Hope you all have a nice celebration and happy day!

It is a nice day, the sun's out, who knows I might go do something today, this day they call my birthday....

It's been a while...

Since the last time I posted a blog. I had stuff in my mind to say but I couldn't be bothered to put them here. They jsut stayin in my mind. Now for some ranting.....

It's finally here!

Yes!!! I am now typing this blog on my new computer. Got it last Saturday evening, and only yesterday been able to get it on the net. Well I'm really happy now with this new box. Still some more configuring to do but it's mostly operational now. Only bad thing about it is it gets hot quicker than the old computer, but I guess that's a plus in winter-don't need a heater anymore =)

Nearly 5 Years of Good Service...

This is possibly (and hopefully) my last night blogging here with my old computer. Man..I can't wait to get it later today (Wednesday) and play aroudn with it. It's been a few years in the making, wanting a new computer. But doesn't mean this computer will never get used again, it's going to be my backup computer. One funny thing that happen with this computer is I lost 32 mb ram! I don't know what happened but now it only posts 96 mb instead of 128. Oh well, I guess good timing to get a new computer. Thanks a lot to my parents for making this possible!

I'm Ok

I feel better than the last time I went blogging. I guess I had some tiem to think things through, and after having some convos with some people, I feel like it's not as bad as I thought it was. Well that night, Monday, I was talking to her, I think I got emotional after the bit where she said she got a boyfriend.

My Beast is on the way

Yes, I will be with a new computer soon. I wonder if I can fight off the urge to play games all day long. It's going to be a killa system, well I think it wil be, but pretty soon it will be old school stuff. Oh well. I hope it lasts as long or longer than my current pc the Pentium 200 MMX, which is approaching 5 years old. I hope this new pc will have less blue screens and more productivity-maybe even help me think less about what I say below....

Now the Ranting...

Well I guess palying games all day long is better than just doing nothing at home, but what's better is doing my uni work and helping around the home. Those last 2 things I haven't been really doing lately. It's like how it was before, no real motivation to do things and I just end up thinking about imagining things, and thinking about things that seem like I might probably never get an answer to. The most thought about question in my mind is 'what does it feel like to be in a relationship with someone, and how does it feel like to be loved by someone (other than family) and to love them back.' And also thinking about things for the future, like who I will be in the future, marriage and so on. And then relating it to how I am now. If I am like this now, single, do't like anyone, then how will any of these future things happen. Will I ever find love? Is there really such a thing as love? I sure hope there is, I used to think that love makes the world go round, along with money too. I still have hope that Iwill find out someday, I guess I just have to wait. Some would say I'm still very young, there's plenty of time for that later. But you know, now is the time that my body, mind and soul is starting to this type of thing and so it's really driving me crazy. If I could jsut totally block out this type of emoitions I'd be happy with that, so I can move on with other stuff. I don't like it when I have a spare moment then up thinking about these types of things and then I have an emotional outburst, in the end doing nothing productive, and feel depressed and reluctant to do anything.

I wonder if staying in a state like this for a long time can be very bad for me, I mean I could end up being very depressed, and might even reject people later on, simply because I'm no longer open to love, and then I become all grumpy and become a hermit. Eh seems a bit on the extreme but it could happen....

Relationships

It's open season on having relationships. It's like I'm the only one missing out on all the fun (but I know I'm not the only one single). Some people like being single, it's freedom. Some people don't really care, don;t really think about it (I guess they're too busy for that sort of stuff or it's not in them, or not really thought about it). Is this like a society imposed need? To be in a relationship, liek if you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend that you're not cool, or there's smething wrong with you. I sort of feel that way sometimes, maybe there's somethign wrong with me that I stil yet to be in a relationship.

Blah...Still on about it

I think I must be crazy! Still gonig on about what I said below and so on. Can't seem to shake it out of my head. It's very bad, I know that much. Maybe I need to get more busy, so that I don't think about silly things that comsume my mind and time. Eek!

Last Nite..

Ah well I had a late night last night, slept at 2 am. And why? Because I stay up chatting all night. I must admit, it's been a while since I've had a nice chat with someone. But this time it wasn't thru mIRC, but using MSN Messenger. It all started during the day when I was bored and decided to add some people that were on this email that came from Jacky onto my MSN list. Chose the ones with interesting email addresses and the female ones hehe. Then later on at night, got all these messages asking who I was and where I got their email blah blah. Turns out some ppl are from same uni and yea. But who I was chatting to all night was this girl that liked k-pop. So we spent the night talking about ourselves and about K-pop. And she was a good person to chat to, she kept the conversation going so it wasn't boring (something that I've come to feel in general with chatting to new people). Then she said she had assignments to do in her holidays and I offered to help her. So I spent the last of my net time helping her before I went to sleep. Now I'm wondering why I did that. I guess it's a few factors including I like to help people (when I feel like it), I had nothing else to do, and it might help me to get to know this person more. But am I also expecting something in return? Yes and no. Yes, I would like to borrow her cd collection so I can listen to it and she can borrow mine. And yes it would be nice if we could be friends in real life too. But if none of that happens, I'm still happy because I got to help someone and it's good to help people. But still it's bugging me as to why I helped her. Well these are the factors that buggin me. The fact that she was Japanese, and that she is a she and not a he, and that she is younger than me. It brings back about what was said during the debate between me and Melissa-the fact that I go on the net and stay on for hours and chat to girls and add them to my list of a perspective girlfriend. It sounded kinda harsh to me, but that discussion sorta woke me up a bit. Well I'm going to talk more about this later, to clear some things up. But relating what was said then to now, I guess that's why I am uneasy about what I did last night. It make me wonder if what I did was to get this person to like me or something like that. But is that such a horrible thing to do? It also reminded what I did a while back, I did a whole assignment and not just help someone and stay up till 3 am doing it! I did it because they were appealing to me to help them, and I gave in, I felt sorry for them and like I was their only help. But the factor back then too was also like in this case. I wanted to get to know them as well and meet them eventually. She promised me this and that if I helped her, but I didn’t really care about what she was going to give, I helped her because she came to me for it, I guess I should be happy that I did help her and not turn my back away….Ok ok, I’ve had a think about it. The main reason why I helped her was because she would like to chat to me and she had assignments to do and I offered to help her, to make it easier for her to finish it so she can do other things. If possible I’d like to get to know this person, make a new friend, have someone to talk to about K-pop and so on. Enuff said. I’m happy =)

Mah Bro

I don't think I've ever mentioned my brother on this blog....Well yesterday he turned 3 months old and now he likes to talk in baby talk and stuck his thumb. Ohh cutee!! =)

Now I remember something else that happened before now that I was suppsoed to write about. It was about my doctor. His name is Dr AV Mar and had been my doctor from the day I was born. But sadly I will never see him in practice again because he has goen into retirement. He served my parents from me until my brother some 18 odd years...Thanks for all your help all these years. I hope he will live well in his retirement and get to do more travelling.

My Thoughts

I've been thinkign a lot lately, I feel like I should put it up here but since it's late I wil post it later. Actually I have a whole heap of back log to blog about. Starting from what happened in Indonesia, to the time I got in Sydney. Hmm and then what? I think not much happened when I was at home during holidays waiting for uni to start except I was going crazy. If something did happen, it's long forgotten. And then comes uni. Meet friends again, after a while of not seeing each other. See some new uni people, but don't really know any...And then lately I've been thinking about relationships (bf/gf thing), marriage, and religion and I've sort of been analysing some of the things I do and why I do it. That's what I should hopefully soon put up on my blog and clear my head.

As for now, my head ahs been ful of computer parts reviews and everything computers, to try prepare myself to choose which parts are best for me and build my first computer. Hopefully soon I will be blogging from my new beast!

Laziness + No Time = Big Headache

Yes, thats the what you get for being lazy and leave your assignment to the last minute....I had 2 of these events recently, last Friday and last Monday. Out of the 2 the Friday oen was worser, all because of C and Unix, the language and OS that just go over my head! But on both occasions I had plenty of time to do the work and only I put myself in that situation. I don't know why, but I can't be bothered to do thigns when there's plenty of time to do it, but when the pressure's on I want to do it-but have little time so I end up not finishing it, or completely understand what the assignment wanted. It's something I hope I can fix in the near future. Myabe I can trick my mind that something is due the next day or some other gimmick but that might confuse me....

A Milestone

Well, last Thursday marks the day that I began my adventure into the world of Linux on my computer. After the installation and a bit of a hiccup it got running. Little did I know that the after I rebotted the computer it wold not load into Windows or Linux. So on Friday I spent many long hours installing Windows again without a format coz I had valualbe data on my hdds. It said it would take 160 mins, now I say that's not normal. Anyway Windows is back and Linux is working. But Windows can't use the net. Oh well, it means I have to get more familiar with Linux in the mean time. I hope this experience is woth it....

Just a Thought

Well I was at uni one day, and saw this person that looked very different from the way I was used to seeing them. From that view they looked more attractive and you might think they were a different person to the one before in terms of their personality.... A good reminder for me that anyone can look anyway and seem to act a certain way. It's not until you actually approach them and get to know them inside that you 'really' know someone. I guess the say "Don't judge a book by it's cover" is very true...

Sunday the 17th

I buy a burner yay! It's a Lite-on 32x40x12x cd rewriter for $197. So no more need to borrow from Jacky anymore. But it sure was so hard to install, coz so small space in my case and then these burning troubles. Made some coasters in the process but finally got the hang of it all. All good, Got a scare when Boa-Somewhere Someday mv got corrupted on my D:\ coz of the burning but lucky I got it fixed. Ahh nothing buy K pop to make my day happy.I think I just found out that Korean Pop music is my favourite type of music right now. Even more so than English. It's the only type of music that I can just download and like straight away, no matter who the artist. Well that's when u listen to music. The voices, sounds, all combining to make a delight for the ears....

And while I went to go to the markets, me and Fachri met da Arie and he tagged along too. Man he's a funny guy. He told all these girls on the phone he was gonig to Indo, whne all he was doing was disconnecting his phone. Oh he got lot of explaining to do if/when he meet those girls. And man e got so many numbers. Why then does he ask me for a girl? I don't get it. What more does he want. And then he told me he wanted to talk to someone and wanted to borrow my phone. Well they didn't pick up and he then went. Later when I get home, that person he wanted to talk to, he said a gangsta, called. I think he was bluffing so I wouldn't talk to them. Anyway the point of saying all this was because when she rang and asked who I was, it felt kinda like she wanted to talk to me, even when that's not the case. It's been a while since I really had a phone convo with a girl. I more or less couldn't be bothered to call anyone, is easier to jsut say it here (except no feedback), or the people I call are busy. I guess I miss it...

Friday the 15th

Well it's Friday afternoon and after a long day and a big headache caused by System programming 1, its time for home. Hot day and going home in peak hour usually means standing up for half the journey...had to change train at Rockdale to catch train home. As I was walking in I saw this girl standing in the carriage that caught my attention. Look like Asian, long black hair that looked like goldilock, twisted style hair and blonde tip on the end. With her friends, like surfy punky style people. I think her friends calle her Alison Chong... Anyway, as I boarded the train she caught my attention for a few reasons. She was pretty, she reminded me of some people and she made me day-dream a bit on the train. I dunno why I bother put it up here, I gues it was on my mind and I just had to offload it somewhere. Well, back to this person, she reminded me of the singer from Killing Heidi, bit of Cecilia Cheung and she reminded me of someone whose picture I place next to my monitor....As for the day dream bit, I guess I was day dreaming about how she might have been looking at me. Well I wouldn't know if she was or not, coz I dare not look at her directly after seeing her the first time. I'm sure that was really a daydream. But it also got me thinking, what if she went to me and said hi. What would happen? I don't think a girl has ever approached me and said hi to get to know me. I guess I'm not the type that girls like to approach or girls only approach the good looking ones, I dunno. Come to think of it, no one really apporaches it. Ihh my mum says I should smile more, see someone and smile, make u more approachable. I could try that, but it feels funny coz when people look at me smiling I think its like a laugh at me-like somethng wrong. or maybe its's all in my head. Do I have anything to lose really to smile at stranger? Probably not. Hmmm.

Oh well, life goes on....

Let's go back a bit...lets just say the post after this was meant for Friday.

I'm so stupid I didn't realise that there's a bold, italics and link button in bloggers site...

U know I still can't forget that whole Lydia saga. And I don't think I will. More light will be shed about this later. It just feels bad what happened. I guess that and what other stuff happeend in the past, more on that later too, its made me less wanting to do chattign and that because I know now that people don't always tell the truth. If anyone comes by me and expects me to trust them if I haven't met them yet well then think again. it's happeend to me one too many times. There are exceptions and those of you who know will know what I mean. No offence to those people that are genuine to me, it's just that past expereinces have made me more cautious and if you are really geniune you would understand where I'm coming from....

Hello. Is this in Italics and is this in bold ? If not, can someone email me or send icq message and tell me how to format my bloggs

Well uni started last Monday, finally! I was so bored at home, being at home all the time can get to you at times and I guess thats'w why I've been feeling a litle off lately. SO if anyone received a funny sms or I wasn't being myself lately, I reckon it was I was at home too much. Sorry if I inconvenienced anyone. Since I go back to uni, I guess my brain will start to function better again, and maybe, even if I got more thigns to do, this might motivate me to do some mroe work on my website. As for now, there are some things I have to fix before any more content goes up. Expect a little change soon....

BTW, I'm suppsoed to blog regularly, but I'm even lazy to do that, even though I'm practically online all the time. So I have a lot of things on my head that I want to say, but haven't done it yet. Hopefully I can still get to do so. And not to worry, my brain is not as faulty as those IBM deathstar hard disk drives I've been reading about lately.

I know I spend too much time on the Internet. Why I always come to the Internet is because I am addicted to it. What do I do? I turn on ICQ and mIRC and chat...I chat and thats what I do day in and day out. Chat to me now is liek another bodily function. Without it I can't function....But now I'm finding chatting is getting boring, its getting a bit repetative. SO what do I do now? Clean up my room would be a good idea. Start some study too. But I can't be bothered to do those thigns either. And how bout go out. Go out needs $$$ which I don't have. Get a job, yea sure but I only like jobs that are easy, and little customer contact and there's not many of them around. Even if I do go out, what am I suppsoed to do out, I have no idea...Might as well stay home instead. Maybe I should stop babbling and finish my homepage....

Ehh ooo I'm dizzy. Update this blogger soon...Have to fix the website up first b4 uni starts. Then I'll spill the beans.

Finally.....I get into my blogger and get to write. Hmmm its a new year and the fasting season is over. I hope the new year brings happiness and prosperity for everyone. My holidays so far have been good, but eat too much of that spicy stuff and I get stomach problems so quick. The New Year was celebrated with an early nite sleep so essentially I slept for 1 year, from 2001-2002. Next stop to Jakarta for some major shoppin!!

==On Reflection==

Well, 2001 was a year that had many things happen to me and other people.
My year began in Muara Aman in Indonesia and the New Year heard with a siren, nothing like them fireworks back in Sydney. 2001 was a year of uncertainty for me, just finishing school and not sure where I'd be going to next.
I found a friend in Febi, you could say first real female friend and I also me her friends. unfortunately I didn't spend that much time in Jakarta so I didn't really get that much time to have some fun with her and her friends.
Lucky for me, and thanks to Allah, I got into uni. A little far, but me grateful none the less I got into Bachelor of Computer Science at UWS Macarthur. When I had to register to the uni, my family went to Indo and I went with rita to theuni for the frst time. I still remember the first day I went by myself, as I passed the child care centre, I remember how quick its been since my days at pree school and now into uni. I sorta missed high school then, coz everything at uni u do on your own and theres no teacher to back u up. Being at a far away uni, no one from my school went there so I didn't know many people except redha and da Arif who also went there. I thought it would be really hard to find new friends but it wasn't that hard after all. My first friends were Don, Diana and Jacky who were together as a group. Eventually later on in the semester I found friends in Clark, Rajiv, Anthony, Chris, Minh, Peter, Julie, and among others, can't remember. Semester 1 I failed Maths 1.1-gotta do that again (hate maths). Semester 2 I failed PP2-at lest I didn't fail any other subjects, which I thought as a whole I did not go well in any exam, so I'm glad I passed everything except PP2, but it would have been nice if I passed all exams. So that was my year at uni. Hope this year in 2002 I work more harder...
While that was going on, adjusting to uni life, with my personal life theres other things that happen. After coming back to Sydney, I was pretty happy after meeting Febi and making friends with her and her friends. I didn't really care about not being in a relationship and after what happened at school I didn't really think about 'Her' either. While my family was away in Indo, I spent quite a while chatting on the net, coz i was that bored. Then I had a chat with this girl called Eva, whose nick was ce_cantik at that time. I was asking her why she had a ick like that...I was sorta not liking people who gave themselves big names like that unless it was justified so I was testing her out. After a while, a few weeks of chatting to her a lot, I sorta felt attached to her I guess. She was pretty and she said all the things that got to me, it made me felt special becaue no one had said them to me before. So, after 2 weeks of knowing her I said how bout we be a couple. She said she felt the same and it was done. we were a 'virtual' couple. I told everyone about her, showed a computer print of her to people and I said to everyone she was my first girlfriend. After 2 months some things happened. She was sick (she said typhoid) and so not much communication. Then when she did come back she said that she not allowed to go on the net. Her father mad at her, spend too much time on the net and bla blah. So I didn't want any more of it, can't go between her and her father, I told her to end it. By that time I realised that what I was having with her was not a real relationship, because she wasn't there for me at the time I needed her the most-this being when myhouse got robbed and the guy takes all my good stuff!! At that time I felt so stupid, and it was stupid, I mean you don't have a relationship like that. For all I know she could be someone completely different to the person on the net, and someone that I didn't expect (big risk). It was made even more apparent when my friend as asking about his face, he asked if I could see his pimple, cos he wanted to impress this girl for a date. That night I felt really lonely and all those feelings I had for Eva just went away in a flash, because I realised what real relationship is and what I had was definately not that-well at least that's what I think up till now. So after 2 months I say good bye to Eva, and I think for the best. So until now I still have yet to experiece a real relationship....
Well, Febi helped me out throughout most of the year, thru settling into uni and with the Eva saga and other stuff. I didn't reply to many of her emails and other people too (sorry yea), I'm just too lazy. A few things also happen with her. At the time I told her about Eva, she sent me sms, hich made me think that she liked me as well. Turns out that it was jsut misunderstnding and I\m glad I sorted that out. Another thing that happened was that I thought that Ilham and her were gettin it on when he says 'say' to her on the phone. Kinda got me thinking too. But thatturn out that they jus playing round. I'm glad I sorted that out. What else happened, I jsut forgot, there as a guy but it not work out for her. Ah don't worry Febi, like you said, we'll all fnd our happiness one day. Hope this year u still get to chill out even tho its your last year. Good luck!
And then there was Melissa. I still remember how I started chattign with her, she wasn't that friendly...kept on saying her name was Daffy, I think that was back in 2000. Well in 2001she moved to Melbourne to go to school (u sholda goen to Sydney instead!), and I got to chat to her a lot on the fone-probably why I get a lot of headaches, too much talking on the mobile, but with what was said it was worth it. We talked a lot about my life and her life and shared a lot of things. It was as if we've been long time friends. She's also a good friend to me-like Febi. I'm glad that both of them a friends too. Can't wait to meet u ME sooon!
As for who I liked, I spent too much time on the net and not much time going out, I rarely go out anyway...But yea then there was Jeniffer, but it turn out that she was a completely different person. At that time I realised tha not everyone is truthful to you on the net, or wherever, even if u are. Then I guess there was period of not really liking someone, and then came the twins. They lived in Penshurst, came from Aus, Scotland, Spain, and Filo Land, a nice combination ; ) After seeing them a few times I wanted to get to know them, maybe even go out with one of them. But they were both taken, and knowing me being shy I never really got to talk to them or get to know them. Oh well. One thing I realised about who I've liked this year is that they were all pretty. I think Melissa reminded me of this and I thank for that. I now know that looks is not the most important thing when it comes to liking someone. Sure, looks are there for someone to be attracted to, sorta like the bait. But really its better to like someone for who they are inside. I guess u can't really tell how someone is inside until u get to know them. So as of now, I don't really like like anyone. I mean I might think there a few people that are pretty that I would like to get to know, but as for someone I constantly think about, there isn't.Even tho I don't really like anyone, I don't feel empty, like I used to. I guess its because I've realised what it is to really like someone, and what a relationship may be like (not like what I experienced), and so like what Melissa said to me, I'm not not finding someone to like anymore. I'll let it come to me. If by some chance, I', attracted to someone, and they're attracted to me, I'll get to know them, and if I like what's inside them, you never know....they might just become my wife-as simple as that.
While me in ndo I might as well make the msot I have of the time here and meet the new freidns I made while on the net. Thanks to Denis aka caplang I became aop in #al-azhar. Met lota ppl there. So gotta meet them if I got the time (maybe I might even like one of them ; ) ). Can't wait for that too.

Hmmm, I think thats about it that I have to say for now, about the year 2001. Oh yea there were other things that happen around the world, most sad being the WTC incideent which rocked the wrold. I hope that none of us get to see such a thing ever happen again. With all these disasters happening it's also sign that judgment day is near. You know I never really thought about it until now. There are all these tell-tale sign about judgement day. I guess I should watch I do and help other to do the same. Better do more good deeds that make bad ones.

Oh yea, gotta say sorry to Nadia, for she wait for my letter for so long.....I'll send it one day...trust me.

==The Book Closes on 2001==