Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Even just to be your shadow would make my day...

This morning I woke up from a dream of presence. I tried to go back to sleep to resume it but it was useless. Then that title popped in my head.

Am I going looney or what? But that's what I feel. We could be doing something together or be in the same room yet she would not know I was there. There is a barrier between me and her, and I feel incapable of interacting with her. I guess a lot of that has to do with being anxious. I'm so self conscious and worried that anything I say or do may give clues to her or others. So I'm stuck with whatever I get and at best I'm just her shadow...

I'm confused, I don't know what to do. Should I leave it, should I forget about her or is there something there? Or nothing at all.

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