How do I get to know you?

(posted for 15/6/08 10:25)

I woke up with that question in my mind after running through scenarios in my mind. I have no answer to the question.

Hmm, up till now I've gotten to know quite a bit about you through interaction and asking about you and I've tried to keep it as clean as possible. What I mean by clean is that I try not to step over the bounds of Islam in that whenever I've dealt with you I've tried to maintain an Islamic conduct and stick to business. I admit I've occasionally slipped but I try to minimise it.

Now I've come to the point that I won't be able to get to know you any further if I don't do anything else. This is my dilemma. How do you get close to someone without overstepping the boundaries?

Yes I know that a man and woman can get to know each other for the purpose of marriage in the presence of a muhrim, but there are issues with me in doing it that way unfortunately. Going under the radar so far I've not found a way to get any closer and feel that I have to say something to You. And it's nearly happened, a few times now. I've just had to hold back as I don't know what would happen if I said it. I mean if you were to not like what I said, then I might lose you completely and that would just devastate my life.

One of my other options I guess is to continue observing, while asking other people about you. I'm hesitant about letting more people know though, because usually somewhere along the line the cat is let out of the bag.

For now I think I'll just lay low. Maybe a hint or two might get some reactions but I really don't know where to go from here. At the end of the day everything is in the hands of Allah.