My One and Only

My recent years have been filled with a quest to find a contradiction. BoA was a contradiction, and for the logn time I was fixated with her I was content with being one of her fans. I outgrew that phase, and the whole genre when I met Her. I've thoguht abotu this before but haven't written about it now. She is my contradiction, my One and Only contradiction. I've told Her about it before, but not in so much detail. She's good but She's bad. This has been what my obsession has been about all along...

Tonight, at prayers, this thought came up again and this is why I jot it down now. She's my One and Only contradiction, because I won't find any other contradictions. When I told her that's what I thought of Her, She said something like it may not be good for me. And now, when I come to think of it, She's probably right. I won't go chasing for contradictions anymore, for now I realise that isn't the best for me. My current path is leading me to someone whom is similar yet different. Someone who shares the same core values, yet experienced a different way of life.

What I've learnt, or what I'm feeling now, is that it is better to be with someone who is on the same wavelength as you with your core values, rather than someone who has different ideals that would clash with your own. My heart would say I could backdown on my own ideals to make way for Hers, but in the household I am the leader, and someone down the line I'd think something would break. This is why I take the stance of similarity. If I told this to Her, she'd say why would I sell myself short? Isn't it a challenge to be with someone different. A challenge it would be, but any relationship would be a challenge.

I wanted to break the trend with You, yet you declined, and so I'm not willing to keep looking for something different. I've found someone else, who's much like me and I'm starting to realise that I don't have to break the trend to have a future with someone. At the end of the day, this is all Allah's work, and at this point in time my experiences have led me onto this path. If this is the best for me, then make it easy for me, but if it is not, then take it away from me.